Quing Massage at Richard Joseph SalonSpa

I’ve seen the “couples massage” on the addictive, yet horrible reality tv show, The Bachelor. Yes I watch it, yes I feel badly for most of the rejects, and yes I always shed a tear at the most shocking proposal ceremony ever AND two months later over the most shocking magazine cover proclaiming the break up of this dream couple who most definitely had a connection. ahhhh.....Breathe. Ok.

All that aside and back to the couples massage...so, I’ve only ever seen it on TV and it is most intriguing. Lovey little chatter and holding hands while being rubbed down under a gauzy tent on the beach, a slight breeze and maybe a RumRunner with a really long straw... my God! who wouldn’t want that?! Jason and I made an appointment... in hopes of finding out that we had a connection. Figuring no one could do it better than Richard Joseph SalonSpa in Mountain Brook, that is exactly where we headed.

So, yeah I’m going to have to burst that pretty TV bubble. *Pop!* (Sorry- take a tissue.) A couple’s massage at Richard Joseph is nothing like a TV couples massage...it’s BETTER!!! Fireworks, cheering, whistles. Yes. It is so very wonderful.

They start you off with a wonderful complimentary nutritious lunch in their cafe (you must arrive before 2:30 for this treat - lunch at Richard Joseph ends at 3pm). From there, we headed upstairs to the spa area, which was really quite dreamy. At the entrance was the largest bouquet of pink lillies I’d ever seen. I had to take a picture of it. Jason whispered “they’ve got to be fake” in my ear - my cue to approach and caress them. Yes, real. The receptionist didn’t necessarily say, “hands off, crazy lady”, but she did show us to the cozy relaxation/waiting area. There we nibbled on some fruit and cheese and chocolates, and when I say “WE” here, I mean “I” because Jason would have no part in pre-massage noshing. He simply stated it wasn’t good for his digestion - I think he read an article or something. I believe he is right about that, you really shouldn't eat immediately before a massage, but I couldn't resist. I am only human (Jason is super-human).

While enjoying treats destined for doomed digestion in my tummy, we were greeting warmly by two massage therapists, Kay and Sally. They led us back to a room with two single massage beds. There was no gossamer drapery, no Rum Runners, no camera crew! I wan’t sure what we had gotten ourselves into, I mean... no camera crew? There’s always a camera crew. Decor was classy, music was soft, lights were warm and dim. Kay informed us that she would be my therapist and Sally would be Jason’s. I was to take the bed on the left (which was a cushy water-type bed) and Jason had a traditional massage bed (no water cushion). There was a bit of questioning on Jason’ s part, wondering where his water was, but we all were able to calm him down enough to proceed. Kay and Sally left us so we could “get naked” - they informed us we could leave our underwear on or go without, whatever made us comfortable. Oh? You’re wondering which we chose?

The massages started and I asked if we were supposed to talk to each other or hold hands or something. Kay said we could do what we liked. Shew! We did none of that. Jason enjoyed his massage and I enjoyed my massage - together.

This brings me to the real reason getting a couples massage is SO much better than getting one by yourself... no - it’s not that you might get to see your partner almost naked for a split second. It’s before, when you can anticipate this wonderful experience together, it’s during when you know your partner (or sister, or mother, or best friend) is getting what they deserve - much needed pampering and a feeling of well being - and you’re there to share that. And it’s especially afterward, when you get to talk about how amazing you feel and how you wished the massage would’ve lasted another four hours or that you could somehow lure your massage therapist home to live with you forever (they won’t, and don’t try too hard or they will take legal action and never massage you again).

Notice how no one is enthusiastic or even really cares to listen to you describe your last massage? If you take them WITH you, you can talk about it for days - they're just as excited as you. Jason and I still bring it up. And sometimes, when I catch him looking off into the distance with a glaze, I know what he’s thinking about. Wait... that’s not what he’s thinking about? Really?

Well, anyway, as a couple, Jason and I HIGHLY endorse the couple’s massage at Richard Joseph. (They actually call it Quing Massage). Kay has been a massage therapist for 22 years and really knows what she’s doing. I’d been having some lower back and wrist issues and she knew to work those areas without me even telling her (well, not verbally, I guess the huge knots did the talking). Sally has been practicing for 11 years and from what Jason tells me, she has some wonderfully strong and intuitive hands as well.

A Quing Massage would make a great gift for the holidays or for Valentines Day or a “just because” or especially an “I’m sorry.” Send your partner a link to this review with a “hint hint” in the subject line!

Salon Mop (Homewood)

I'm going to go on record and say Mop is the most glamorous salon in Birmingham. There I said it and I'm not going to take it back... I don't care if you try and tickle my armpits...you can't make me take it back. Wait.. what are you doing? DON'T touch my armpits!

I had to check out the newest salon in Homewood, it is my business, after all. I set an appointment with Melisa (pronounced muh-lisa, not Melissa, get it right or go home, schmucko!), the owner of Mop. She has worked at the former Salon Raymond Barry and the fabulous Richard Joseph SalonSpa, so I was confident she could handle me and my mop (see what I did there?).

Right away upon entering this hip, sexy, old-Hollywood-feeling salon, I felt a little under dressed. The stylists were decked out, complete with four-inch heels and I applaud them. They looked amazing, and not in pain at all! I vowed to throw my flip flops away as soon as I got home.

I sat down in Melisa's chair and was handed my yummy signature drink (water WITH lemon, if you haven't had it you should try it, it's fabulously refreshing) and we got to discussing. I did my apologizing, saying I didn't know what I wanted and what did she think, any suggestions... I don't know if stylists hate this or like it. I guess we'll have to ask the Style Guy. Melisa decided to bring in a couple different shades of blonde with a full foil. I don't think I've ever had that many foils on my head before. I nearly fell over from the shear weight. It was cool. The color turned out gorgeous. I wish you could see it. I bet you wish you could see it too. Someone should invent something...

For the cut I wanted something I could easily style and perhaps stretch back into a ponytail. She suggested more layers and I gave her the old thumbs up. Layer me, Melisa, layer me.

I left Mop just as gorgeous as the Mop stylists! My hair is so fabulous I decided I can afford to keep my flip flops (with hair like this no one's looking at my FEET, for crying out loud).

unibrow

We get a lot of distress calls here at salonfly. Most of them are easy to handle – once we understand the problem, it’s just a simple referral to the stylist, massage therapist or esthetician that can put things right. It’s a service we’re happy to provide. But sometimes, we come across a special case. Someone who has been so neglected that we must divert all of our resources toward saving. And we never turn anyone away.

It was just this Valentines 2007 that we last received such a call. It was late in the afternoon. Amy answered the phone. I couldn’t hear what the caller was saying, but Amy’s face said it all…this one was serious.

His name was Bert. He just got home from a blind date…one that ended before it'd begun, actually. Bert met her at a local coffee shop. He dressed conservatively – turtle neck under sweater, both tucked neatly into slacks. His date wasn’t yet there when he arrived, so he ordered a small coffee, black, waited by the door and watched the pigeons. He saw her coming. She was exactly how his roommate described – a beautiful shade of blue with a large, red nose and long, yellow hair. He started to get nervous. Under his breath he whispered “keep it cool, Bert, keep it cool”. She walked in and immediately he introduced himself. His handshake was casual yet confident, if not a little moist. He looked directly into her eyes and said, “Hi, I’m Bert. It’s great to meet you”. She appeared startled and struggled to meet his gaze, visibly pained . Instead her eyes remained fixed on what he initially thought was his hair. She managed to stammer out a few words, “Yes…nice to meet you too. I…have to go…Yes! I... I have to the bathroom…be right back”. She disappeared into the back of the shop.

In a very sad voice, Bert told Amy he waited for over two hours for her to appear from that bathroom...

On his way home, Bert walked past a newsstand. The latest issue of GQ caught his eye. One of the headlines read “What a Girl Doesn't Want - Top 10 Turn Offs”. He picked it up and flipped to the article. Turn off #1 – the unibrow.

Bert dialed our Hotty Hotline for help right away. In order to assess the severity of his case, we asked him to email us a photo. Once we got over the initial shock, we called the only person who could possibly help – Danielle George, Birmingham’s Brow Expert.

Danielle met with Bert immediately. The following is her summary of the appointment…

"When I fist saw Bert, I was shocked. How could anyone sport a unibrow in this day and age? I had dealt with this kind of thing before, but Bert was clearly, CLEARLY a very special case. Obviously we were going to carefully separate the unibrow and give him two distinct man -brows, but if he was going to get a second chance with that little blue hottie, I was going to have to work a miracle."

"I told Bert to relax on the heated bed and enjoy the relaxing spa music while I worked my magic. I assessed the oblong shape of Bert's head and used his facial features to guide me as I applied the wax.
After a few quick pulls of the wax and some precise tweezing I knew we had the look Bert needed. I placed a cooling compress over the brow area to calm his skin. Then I handed Bert the mirror..."

"There in the mirror were two perfectly groomed brows. I think I saw Bert shed a tear of joy. He expressed his gratitude and then lept off the table and was out the door in a flash. My guess is he was going to get that second chance at love."

I feel like Fabio! - Bert

For over a decade, Danielle George has built a reputation for stellar waxing experiences. Using the highest quality product, she combines speed and efficiency with an artistic eye to give every client that perfect brow. With an education in Fine Art and 10 years experience as an esthetician, Danielle applies artistic principles while analyzing the structure and shape of the face. Her technical abilities allow her to provide waxing services in a fraction of the time and with minimal discomfort.

Danielle George is available for appointments (Mon & Tues 10-5 and Thurs & Fri 10-6) at Fusion Spa at Soho Square in Homewood.

The perfect color...Blue Velvet

Yay! The first hair cut of the new year is like seeing the first tulips in spring - gives you hope and fills you with love. Isn't 2007 supposed to be the Chinese Year of Good Hair? Hmm. I think so...

yech...I need a new "Blue" do!
On a balmy January afternoon (the first tulips are up in our yard already, yeah, what's up with that, global warming - recycle!), I waved to my neighbors as I took off from my driveway with something new (pic of great-year-starting hair cut), something borrowed (husband's credit card! he he he) and something Blue (an appointment at Blue Velvet Salon). Those neighbors were in for such a treat when I got home - maybe they wouldn't even recognize me - or maybe this new haircut would make me look so young again that I could sell them Girl Scout Cookies?

I've gotten many comments from Supaflys singing the praises of Blue Velvet Salon, so I thought I'd check it out and see if these Supaflys could be trusted in their judgement. (You know they'll let anyone be a Supafly these days.)

I arrived at the Blue Velvet in Mountain Brook Village (right across from Daniel George restaurant) right on time, fyi. A very adorable Stacey greeted me. The salon is spacious and they've got a very relaxed, fun vibe going - atypical of what I normally think of Mtn. Brook establishments. There's not a stitch of intimidaton and I didn't get one "what are YOU doing HERE" kind of look.

My appointment was with the owner, Rachelle Perrin, who has owned Blue Velvet for the last ten years. She had recently taken a hiatus from being on the floor, but she's back and ready for the cuttin' now. (Word on the street: it was my hair that inspired her to get back to styling.... hey, it's just what I heard...) I was so very excited to get started with her - I'd never had an owner do my hair before. She brought me my beverage of choice - a tall glass of water with just a splash of water - refreshing. I noticed right off that Rachelle was different than my perecption of how most salon owners are. She is approachable, easy-going, nice and humble. Other owners may well be all these things, but I only know what I see on tv, folks.

I started off by asking her - if you could do anything to my hair, what would you do? She said, Well...are you up for something different? It was at that moment I knew this was going to work out. We discussed the course of action for about 15 minutes - then she said the words that made my heart skip - why don't we do all over more platinum-like color?

Now, why this made me so happy is a long story. This is what I've been wanting to do for a very long time, but most stylists talk me into highlights - with good reason. All over color is a lot more upkeep, being the main one. (scary sidenote: The last time I asked a stylist to make me platinum (two years ago), I PAID for it. She turned my hair Betty White WHITE and it was FRIED. I went to different places and tried different serums, potions, lotions and dances to get my hair back. I had to chop it all off - terrible, terrible ahhhh terrible. I wish I could name names and salons, but sadly, I cannot. And I'm not one to normally freak out about a hair mishap - I always say, it'll grow back, it's JUST hair. This incident was beyond horrifying. I've got emotional scars.)

Back to Blue Velvet! I really wanted to do this all over color because that's what I used to do when I lived in Chicago years ago and I actually like the way I look in pictures from that era.

So sassy! Thanks, Rachelle. Love it!
So, by the end of the appointment, I was calling Rachelle my 'psychic stylist'. She would say exactly what I was thinking often - can they start teaching that in beauty school (and marriage counseling)? I left Blue Velvet that day with curly brilliant blonde locks - the color is gorgeous! People will stop me on the sidewalk and compliment it, which is sweet (I'm sure you've seen me walking about town by now - why no compliment from you? Jealous? Don't be that way). Oh, and yes, I did say curly. My hair has always been the anti-curl (except, of course for the 80s-early 90s poodle home perms - thanks mom). Rachelle styled it with just a little Bumble and Bumble product, some scrunching and a good old fashioned diffuser. I felt so damn sassy.

I've always got to include a little bit about what the hubby thinks - he's the one that has to look at me all day. When I walked through the door after my hair make over, he had that look on his face. That look. My Burrito of Good Feelings look. I love that look. Dim the lights please.

- Amy O

The Fly heard it first - hot tip!: Blue Velvet is looking for hair models... they need all types of people with all types of hair for continuing education classes. You get a free hair cut out of the deal and now you won't be lying when you tell people you're a model. Email Rachelle (www.rachelle@bluevelvetsalon.com) for more detail.